IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The school library is seeking applicants for a job over summer break. Write a letter to the library’s manager, in your letter include: – A brief introduction of yourself – Your experience and relevant skills – Why you want the job

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my enthusiastic interest in the Bookkeeper
position
Use synonyms
 at St. Bishop Public Library as advertised
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the local newspaper. My name
Sarah
Add a missing verb
is Sarah
show examples
 Doe, and I am a student pursuing
bachelor's
Correct article usage
a bachelor's
show examples
 in English language at East London University. My understanding of
english
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English
show examples
 literature makes me an ideal candidate for
this
Linking Words
position
Use synonyms
, as I have
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
 about the
authours
Correct your spelling
authors
 which would allow me to guide library users well.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I am
highly
Add an article
a highly
show examples
 motivated and organised individual with a strong work ethic and a passion for reading. I am confident in my ability to quickly learn new skills
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
adapt to changing priorities and work effectively both individually and in a team.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
position
Use synonyms
 is ideal for me since I am looking for a temporary
position
Use synonyms
, in two weeks we will have a summer break and I am in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
need
for
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of
show examples
 a summer job to earn income to pay my
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
 fees. I am eager to bring my energy and dedication to your library and contribute to the smooth workings of the place. I have attached my resume for your review. Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to
discuss
Change the verb form
discussing
show examples
 my qualifications
further
Linking Words
 in an interview. Yours Sincerely, Sarah Doe

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task achievement
Make sure you introduce yourself more clearly in the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Try to separate your ideas into paragraphs better, so each paragraph has a clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Watch out for small grammar mistakes to make your letter clearer.
task achievement
You show a strong interest in the job which is great!
task achievement
Your passion for reading comes across clearly, which is good.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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