IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are going to visit New Zealand for an ‘English and Homestay’ program.You have just received details of your homestay host family. Write your first letter to the family.In your letter •introduce yourself •ask the family some questions to get information that is important to you •tell the family about your arrival date and time

Dear Sir, I hope
this
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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radiant
of
Change preposition
apply
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health and good spirits . I am moving to New Zealand for my studies, today I got
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
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on
Change preposition
in
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 my E-mail that I am going to stay with your family. My name is Harman currently living in India with my parents and one younger sibling. I have
done
Unnecessary verb
apply
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my graduation in Physiotherapy It will be
my
Change the word
the
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 first time that I will travel alone
to
Change preposition
apply
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abroad . I have done research on
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 about the culture, weather and work of
this
Linking Words
 nation
however
Linking Words
 the knowledge is not sufficient for me . I would really appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 you provide me
information
Change preposition
with information
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 about the local food and what type of clothes should I pack
?
Change the punctuation
.
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Moreover
Linking Words
, what is the legal process to get a
driver
Change noun form
driver's
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 license in New Zealand? I booked my flight online which will be landed on
23rd
Correct article usage
the 23rd
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 of September and I will see you on Sunday at 6.00pm . I hope you're staying at home upon my arrival .I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully Sam

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coherence and cohesion
Try to use a more clear structure in your letter, for example, separate the introduction, body, and conclusion well.
task achievement
Make sure to check your grammar and spelling before submitting your letter, as there are some mistakes that can be fixed easily.
task achievement
Ensure you have a friendly tone throughout the letter to make a good impression on the family.
positive
You provided good personal information about yourself, which is nice for the family to know.
positive
You asked relevant questions that show your interest in local culture and daily life in New Zealand.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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