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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the comparison of time spent, in minutes per day, by UK males and females on household and leisure activities in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the comparison of time spent, in minutes per day, by UK males and females on household and leisure activities in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table and the bar chart compare data regarding the time, in
minutes
Use synonyms
, spent daily by the British on leisure and household activities, broken down by sex, in 2008.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 by far the most popular leisure activity for both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 was TV/video/radio. When it comes to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
household duties, both genders spent the most significant amount of time on cooking and washing. Notably, females did that much more. Focusing first on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leisure activities,
almost
Change preposition
for almost
show examples
 140 and 120
minutes
Use synonyms
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 watched TV,
videos
Correct word choice
and videos
show examples
 or listened to
radio
Add an article
the radio
show examples
 every day. Approximately 20
minutes
Use synonyms
 they spent on reading. Sport was more popular among males, with 15
minutes
Use synonyms
 on it,
whereas
Linking Words
 for females, the figure was nearly 10
minutes
Use synonyms
. As for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
household activities, almost 80
minutes
Use synonyms
women
Use synonyms
 cooked,
while
Linking Words
 for
men
Use synonyms
, the corresponding figure was approximately 25
minutes
Use synonyms
. Nearly 40 and over 20
minutes
Use synonyms
 went on shopping. Washing clothes and ironing required roughly 25 and 10
minutes
Use synonyms
 for females and males, respectively.
Men
Use synonyms
 spent on repair 20
minutes
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 for
women
Use synonyms
 the figure was half as
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comparison
  • Household activities
  • Leisure activities
  • Average
  • Significantly more/less
  • Markedly more/less
  • Striking difference
  • Counterparts
  • Societal norms
  • Differing interests
  • Dedicated time
  • Household tasks
  • Maintenance
  • Repairs
  • Pursuits
  • Socializing
  • Gender divide
  • Traditional roles
  • Allocation of time
  • Reflects
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