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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart shows the data of five portions of fruit and vegetables eaten by children, males and females per day in the UK between 2001 and 2008.

The bar chart shows the data of five portions of fruit and vegetables eaten by children, males and females per day in the UK between 2001 and 2008.
The provided chart shows the analysis of five kinds of fruit and vegetables eaten by kids, males and females in the UK per day from 2001 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 an upward trend
throught
Correct your spelling
through
 the years.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
considered
Add a missing verb
was considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest number
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 all of the genders and ages,
while
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
 ratio
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 all of them. From 2001 to 2004, women began with around 20% which is almost half of the
children
Use synonyms
 percentage,
While
Linking Words
 men
average
Change preposition
on average
show examples
 are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between almost 17%. As shown in the chart,
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 average increased until they reached around 30% in 2004,
as well as
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
 and men they increased significantly. Between 2005 and 2008, the most noticeable part
that
Add a missing verb
was that
show examples
 women reached more than 30% in 2006, meanwhile men and
children
Use synonyms
 showed
an
Change the article
a
show examples
flactuation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
 in the percentage throughout the years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumption trends
  • Demographics
  • Public health campaigns
  • Per capita
  • Consumption patterns
  • Nutritional intake
  • Statistical analysis
  • Dietary habits
  • Health recommendations
  • Daily servings
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