IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The line graph below shows the consumption of fast food among teenagers between 1975 and 2000. Summarise the informatsion by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparison where relevant

The line graph below shows the consumption of fast food among teenagers between 1975 and 2000. Summarise the informatsion by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparison where relevant
The line graph compares three types of fast
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 consumption between 1975 and 2000
years
Use synonyms
Overall
Linking Words
, the consumption of fast food experienced different
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
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 in the time
of
Change preposition
apply
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period.
While
Linking Words
 the eating of
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
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 and
pizza
Fix the agreement mistake
pizzas
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 increased gradually, the
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 of
third
Correct article usage
the third
show examples
 one (Fish and Chips) decreased rapidly apart from the interval (1980-1985)
years
Use synonyms
. As
graph
Add an article
the graph
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 shows the
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
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 of Hamburgers rose sharply by 1985
then
Linking Words
 it picked at 100
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
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 by 2000
years
Use synonyms
. Starting 1975 and 1995 people's interest grew from 15
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
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 to just over 80
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 respectively
then
Linking Words
 it went steadily .
In contrast
Linking Words
, the popularity of Fish and chips dropped continuously after 1985, falling from about 100 to nearly 40 times per year by 2000. in conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 hamburgers and pizza became more popular over the
years
Use synonyms
, fish and chips lost their appeal among Australian teenagers.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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