IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below give information about the number of train passengers and the percentage of trains running on time from 2000 to 2009 in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about the number of train passengers and the percentage of trains running on time from 2000 to 2009 in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
the line graph provides key information about the amount of train passengers (measured in
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
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) and the proportion of
trains
Use synonyms
 running on time between 2000 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that people are more likely to use the train as a method of
transpor
Correct your spelling
transport
,
while
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
trains
Change the noun form
train
show examples
manger
Correct your spelling
manager
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 was trying to achieve the target of
trains
Use synonyms
 running on time,and they seem to
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
.
According to
Linking Words
 what was shown, the number of train passengers was increasing in 2005 it was the highest at 42 million passengers.
However
Linking Words
, it has fallen to 31 million by 2009.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage of
trains
Use synonyms
 running on time started to climb and
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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hit the target in 2002,and kept rising
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2004 it became 96%. Suddenly it dropped in 2006.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 it went up in 2008 and kept standing stable.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words trains with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • number
  • train
  • passengers
  • percentage
  • running
  • time
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • years
  • highest
  • point
  • performance
  • management
  • service
  • compare
  • travel
  • interest
  • customer
  • satisfaction
  • growth
  • development
  • affordable
  • prices
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