IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006.

The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006.
The bar chart shows
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the proportion of percentage of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in the UK consuming
fruits
Use synonyms
 and
vegtables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
 per day
between
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 in 2006. The
world health
Fix capitalization
World Health
show examples
organization
Use the right word
Organisation
show examples
 has suggested
the
Correct article usage
that
show examples
 people
to intake
Verb problem
consume
show examples
 five or more
portion
Fix the agreement mistake
portions
show examples
 of
fruits
Use synonyms
 and
vegtable
Correct your spelling
vegetables
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a day. In the X-axis the there are seven
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
age
Use synonyms
 groups
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
categories
Use the right word
categorised
show examples
 among both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
, and on the
Y-axis
Punctuation problem
Y-axis,
show examples
 the percentage of
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 population
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 mentioned
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 ranges between 0 to 40. The most likely
consuming
Replace the word
consumers
show examples
 of
fruits
Use synonyms
 and
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 above
30
Correct article usage
the 30
show examples
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Punctuation problem
group,
show examples
 where they 55
mens
Correct your spelling
men
 and 64
womens
Correct your spelling
women
. The second
height
Check wording
apply
show examples
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 is above 25, and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
other five
age
Use synonyms
 groups are on or below 25. There is
constant
Correct article usage
a constant
show examples
 in both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
 is on
25
Correct article usage
the 25
show examples
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Punctuation problem
group,
show examples
 where both men and women are 75.
Overall
Linking Words
,
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
 chart shows
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 clear picture of the UK
people of
Change preposition
people's
show examples
 consumption of
fruits
Use synonyms
 and
vegtable
Correct your spelling
vegetables
 in a day,

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fruits, age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • proportion
  • age group
  • male
  • female
  • health recommendations
  • dietary habits
  • public health
  • trends
  • significance
  • observations
  • gap
  • intake
  • balanced diet
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