IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The percentage of school aged boys in two different age groups who participated in 5 different sports in the UK in 2010

The table illustrates the proportion of
school aged
Use the right word
school-aged
show examples
 boys from two separate age groups who took part in five of
football
Punctuation problem
: football
show examples
, basketball, cricket, rugby and swimming in the UK in 2010. As an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, in comparison with the
group
Use synonyms
 between 6 to 11 years old had a higher player figure in all five sports via boys 12
to16
Correct your spelling
to 16
 years old during the specified period. And football
appear
Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
show examples
 as the most
favorite
Use the right word
favourite
show examples
 sport in both age
bracket
Fix the agreement mistake
brackets
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. The most significant participant is displayed with
football
Correct article usage
a football
show examples
 in both groups.
Student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 with 87 are the highest
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 a very large majority of students for
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
group
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 contrast, swimming with
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 number 19 has the lowest across both groups. It is
also
Linking Words
 reported that rugby has approximately in comparable participation levels among boys aged 6 to 11 and 12 to 16. Notably, basketball sport saw proportion in each
group
Use synonyms
 was
respectively
Rephrase
apply
show examples
35 and 25. But cricket in the first
group
Use synonyms
near
Use the right word
is nearly
show examples
 half of the proportion
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 in
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 is a quarter.

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction is clear but the conclusion is missing. Try to summarize your findings in a conclusion.
Task Response
Make sure to use complete sentences and clear subject-verb agreements. For example, 'students of the first group with 87 are the highest' could be clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure you use correct punctuation. For instance, 'football appears as the most favorite sport' should have a necessary verb.
Task Achievement
You provided specific data to support your points, which is great!

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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