C. Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

In many developed countries, more than 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
workforce is based on
females
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, most senior
positions
Use synonyms
are
hold
Replace the word
held
show examples
by males.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is argued that a certain number of high-
level
Use synonyms
positions
Use synonyms
should be filled by
women
Use synonyms
. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
statement
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
job selection should be based on a prewritten merit list.
In contrast
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
believe that
women
Use synonyms
in leadership roles will be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
for other
females
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,
according to
Linking Words
me
Linking Words
instead
Punctuation problem
, instead
show examples
of gender, a selection
criteria
Fix the agreement mistake
criterion
show examples
should be used to
filled
Wrong verb form
fill
show examples
the
top –
Use the right word
top–level
show examples
level
Use synonyms
vacancies.
This
Linking Words
criteria
Fix the agreement mistake
criterion
show examples
must not only
based
Verb problem
be based
show examples
on the extensive job experiences and advanced education
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
consists
Correct subject-verb agreement
consist
show examples
of strong communication and interpersonal skills. Because these
top –
Use the right word
top–level
show examples
level
Use synonyms
employers work
along
Change preposition
with
show examples
the whole workforce,
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they must be appointed based on their professional and personal skills.
Conversely
Linking Words
, filling
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
positions
Use synonyms
based on gender, exclusively selecting
women
Use synonyms
, may overlook highly competent male candidates.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
number of leadership roles filled by
women
Use synonyms
will inspire other
females
Use synonyms
to develop more self-confidence. In workplaces, when
females
Use synonyms
will be inform
Wrong verb form
are informed
show examples
that there are
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
number of
high
Use the right word
high-level
show examples
level
Use synonyms
job opportunities available for them,
this
Linking Words
trend will inspire them to work hard, be more innovative and build confidence to fill these
positions
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Pakistan,
due to
Linking Words
the high volume of female
principles
Use the right word
principals
show examples
in private schools have encouraged
numerious
Correct your spelling
numerous
teachers and educational support workers to
aims
Wrong verb form
aimed
show examples
for
principle
Use the right word
principal
show examples
roles. In conclusion, I partially agree that
females
Use synonyms
should be appointed
at top –
Use the right word
to top–level
show examples
level
Use synonyms
jobs
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
of their gender, because
this
Linking Words
concern sometimes can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
to the
selction
Correct your spelling
selection
of
unqualified
Correct article usage
an unqualified
show examples
candidate.
Linking Words
Whereas
Rephrase
apply
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
show examples
also
Linking Words
increases female role models in societies.

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task response
State your main view in a clear line in the intro and restate it in the end.
coherence
Use a simple plan: intro, two body paragraphs, short conclusion.
coherence
Keep one idea in each paragraph and use link words like and, but, so to show flow.
grammar
Check small grammar and spelling; some word use is wrong.
lexical
Add one or two clear examples and explain how they show your point.
content
The writer shows a real issue and a clear view.
structure
Two sides are shown, not just one side.
content
Some real examples are used to back idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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