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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given pie chart chart depicts the details about the proportion of employees in Australia, who born in 2003, while the line chart illustrates the jobless rate in in three groups of individuals over a 10-year period, from 1993 to 2003.

The given pie chart chart depicts the details about the proportion of employees in Australia, who born in 2003, while the line chart illustrates the jobless rate in in three groups of individuals over a 10-year period, from 1993 to 2003.
The given pie
Use synonyms
chart
Check wording
apply
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chart
Use synonyms
 depicts the details about the proportion of employees in
Australia
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 who
born
Verb problem
were born
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 in 2003,
while
Linking Words
 the line
chart
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 illustrates the jobless
rate
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in
Change preposition
apply
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in three groups of individuals over a 10-year period, from 1993 to 2003. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is evident that native Australians account for the largest percentage.
Additionally
Linking Words
, people from non-English-speaking countries showed the highest unemployment
rate
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 over the period of ten years. Regarding
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
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chart
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, the first section was individuals who
born
Verb problem
were born
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 in
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Australia
Punctuation problem
Australia,
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accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for 76% of
total
Correct article usage
the total
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 workforce
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 meanwhile, the second dominant tendency was non-English-speaking countries, with only 14%. The latest category was
English-spaking
Correct your spelling
English-speaking
 countries
except
Punctuation problem
, except
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Australia
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Punctuation problem
, highligting
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highligting
Correct your spelling
highlighting
 the lowest
rate
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, at 10%. In terms of the unemployment
rate
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, it is obvious that there was a drastic decrease in three groups over the period of 10 years. In NESC, it started at 8%, and after some
flactuations
Correct your spelling
fluctuations
, it fell to 4% in 2003. In
Australia
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 and the ESC group demonstrated
Correct article usage
a similiar
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similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
rate
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,
started
Wrong verb form
starting
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 from 4%,
Correct word order
and than
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than
Use the right word
then
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 decreased to 2% in 2003.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, australia, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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