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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the line graph shows the value of australia's trade with china, the USA and Japan from 2002 to 2005 in AUD billion dollars. summerizing the information by selecting and reporting main features and make comparison where relevant

the line graph shows the value of australia's trade with china, the USA and Japan from 2002 to 2005 in AUD billion dollars. summerizing the information by selecting and reporting main features and make comparison where relevant
The three-line chart
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 key information about the amount of Australia's global commercial with three distinct nations, in the years from 2002 to 2005. The units are measured in AUD
billion
Use synonyms
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graphs that trade with the US had a stable rate,
whereas
Linking Words
 other countries showed fluctuating proportions.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, Australians preferred to use
Americans
Replace the word
American
show examples
 products because the chart
offered
Verb problem
showed
show examples
 that
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2002
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the end of the
period
Punctuation problem
period,
show examples
 it had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
steady percentages in both export and import
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 around 20 and 40
billion
Use synonyms
, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the remaining unions offered
unstable
Correct article usage
an unstable
show examples
 range. In 2002-export products accounted for 80
billion
Use synonyms
 with China and Japan, but these figures
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 increasing with the latter by about 20
billion
Use synonyms
 after 2005, before
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. The import in
china
Fix capitalization
China
show examples
 experienced a decline to 20
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2005,
then
Linking Words
 jumped to more than 40
billion
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
 from Japan began with less than 40
billion
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
,
had
Correct pronoun usage
they had
show examples
 a
little
Correct word choice
slight
show examples
 decline later.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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