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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The two pie charts below show the percentages of industry sectors' contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.

The two pie charts below show the percentages of industry sectors' contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.
The two graphs demonstrate the proportion of industry sectors' input to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
crystall
Correct your spelling
crystal
 clear that
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 chart
superior
Verb problem
is superior
show examples
 in
agrculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
, leisure and hospitality, government,
while
Linking Words
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 graph
in
Verb problem
is in
show examples
 construction, manufacturing, trade
utilities
Punctuation problem
, utilities
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 and transportation, finance
business
Punctuation problem
, business
show examples
 and other.
However
Linking Words
, both of them equally produced
healthcare
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
. Agriculture and
healthcare
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
education
Use synonyms
the
Verb problem
are the
show examples
 most
preferd
Correct your spelling
preferred
 in
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
 charts, but construction, finance
business
Punctuation problem
, business
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 other
indicated
Check wording
sectors indicated
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 the lowest proportion. İn
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
leads
Wrong verb form
it led
show examples
 the way in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of agriculture with 24% followed by
healthcare
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 leisure and hospitality
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
expend
Verb problem
accounted for
show examples
 17%. 2016 tops the list for
healthcare
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 with 17% followed by trade, utilities and transportation
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
expends
Verb problem
accounts for
show examples
 16%. 2000 and 2016
expence
Correct your spelling
experienced
 the lowest ratio on
constuction
Correct your spelling
construction
 and finance business
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 with 3% and 8%,
Linking Words
accordingly
Replace the word
respectively
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words healthcare, education with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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