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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The two pie charts below show the percentages of industry sectors' contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.

The two pie charts below show the percentages of industry sectors' contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.
The pie charts illustrate the proportion of main
energy
Use synonyms
sources
Use synonyms
 used in the USA in the years 1980 and 1990. These
sources
Use synonyms
 include
oil
Use synonyms
, natural gas, coal, hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
, and nuclear
power
Use synonyms
. Looking at the
overall
Linking Words
 structure, it is evident that
oil
Use synonyms
 remained the dominant source of
energy
Use synonyms
 in both years.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the share of
oil
Use synonyms
 decreased slightly in 1990, the use of nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 increased notably, and the
overall
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 mix became more balanced. It is crystal clear that in 1980,
oil
Use synonyms
 was the most significant source of
energy
Use synonyms
, making up 42% of the total. Natural gas and coal followed with 26% and 22% respectively. Meanwhile, hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 contributed only 5%, and nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 had the smallest share at just 4%.
This
Linking Words
 shows that fossil fuels were the major
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 during that period, with minimal reliance on alternative
sources
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, by 1990, the share of
oil
Use synonyms
 dropped to 33%,
although
Linking Words
 it remained the largest contributor. The use of natural gas and coal became more balanced, accounting for 27% and 25% respectively. A noticeable increase was seen in nuclear
power
Use synonyms
, which rose to 10%. Hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, remained unchanged at 5%. These changes indicate a gradual shift towards diversifying
energy
Use synonyms
sources
Use synonyms
, with growing interest in nuclear
power
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, sources, oil, power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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