IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors – agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services – to the UK economy in the twentieth century. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors – agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services – to the UK economy in the twentieth century. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
show examples
 report
analysis
Replace the word
analyses
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based on the information provided by the bar chart , which illustrates
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
3 resources to the UK economy
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
Agriculture
Use synonyms
 , manufacturing ,
business
Use synonyms
 and financial and
compare
Correct subject-verb agreement
compares
show examples
 the contribution in 100
years
Use synonyms
 . Generally speaking , both
agriculture
Use synonyms
 and manufacturing were the highest in 1900 , 1950
Linking Words
while
Fix capitalization
While
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business
Use synonyms
 and financial remain the
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
least
contrbuitor
Correct your spelling
contributor
 with
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 increase in 1950 ,
in contrast
Linking Words
 ,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 decreased sharply in 1975
Punctuation problem
,
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whereas
Linking Words
 manufacturing was the highest
,
Punctuation problem
. Also
show examples
also
Linking Words
 the
business
Use synonyms
 and manufacturing
demonstrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrate
show examples
 a modest growth
, interestingly
Punctuation problem
. Interestingly
show examples
, by the end of
this
Linking Words
 period,
business
Use synonyms
 and financial
experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 a
daramtic
Correct your spelling
dramatic
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in 2000 .
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 the two
years
Use synonyms
 1900 and 1950 ,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 was the highest
contrbuitor
Correct your spelling
contributor
 by just below 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and just above 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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 ,
whille
Correct your spelling
while
 manufacturing
experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 a slight decrease by
approximetly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 from 45
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
. However
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however
Linking Words
 ,
business
Use synonyms
 and financial
Check wording
services was
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 the least effective in terms of
supply
Replace the word
supplying
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
monetry
Correct your spelling
monetary
 to the economy with a slight growth from 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
 .
Linking Words
however
Fix capitalization
However
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, compared
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the next two
years
Use synonyms
 of the
chart
Punctuation problem
chart,
show examples
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of
diffrents
Correct your spelling
differences
.
Use synonyms
agriculture
Fix capitalization
Agriculture
show examples
 was the least
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 manufacturing was the major source of the economy in 1975 and experienced a modest decrease in 2000 by around 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
intrestingly
Correct your spelling
Interestingly
, the
business
Use synonyms
 and financial sector was experiencing a huge growth in the two
years
Use synonyms
 by over 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
surpassed
Wrong verb form
surpassing
show examples
 both manufacturing and
agriculture
Use synonyms
 in 2000

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words agriculture, business, years, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "modest" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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