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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart provides key information about the proportion of men and women teachers in six different types of educational settings in the United Kingdom in 2010. The units are measured in percentages.

Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that men had the highest
per cent
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percentage
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 in university and private training institutes,
whereas
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 had the highest percentages in nursery/pre-
school
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, primary
school
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, and secondary
school
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. The ratio of male and female teachers working in college was the same, nearly 50%.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
women
Use synonyms
 who
work
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 in nursery/pre-
school
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 were recorded at more than 90%.
Also
Linking Words
, female employees in primary
school
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 had 90%. In secondary
school
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, they made up slightly more than 50%, close to 55%. In a private training institute,
women
Use synonyms
 accounted for more than 40%. Regarding
this
Linking Words
 chart,
women
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 in universities represent the lowest ratio, approximately 30%. It is noticeable that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 men who
work
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 in nursery/pre-
school
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 and primary
school
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 illustrated less than 10%,
while
Linking Words
 those who
work
Use synonyms
 in university went up to 70%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, males who are employed in secondary
school
Use synonyms
, college, and private training institutes took between 40% to 60%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, school, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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