IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activities in 2010.

The data
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the proportion of Australian
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 doing regular physical activity in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 earlier
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 activities
lead
Wrong verb form
are led
show examples
 by
women
Use synonyms
 compared with
men
Use synonyms
 , but
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
proprortion
Correct your spelling
proportion
shared
Verb problem
is shared
show examples
 by both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
. After
analyzing
Change the spelling
analysing
show examples
 the data, it is considered that, between the age group of 15to 24
Use synonyms
women
Punctuation problem
, women
show examples
 covered47.7% and
men
Use synonyms
cover
Wrong verb form
covered
show examples
 52.8%, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, from 25 to 34 till 55 to 64
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
more
Correct word order
apply
show examples
area
was taken
Correct word order
taken was more
show examples
 by the
women
Use synonyms
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
men
Use synonyms
, which is nearly 8%
highest
Replace the word
higher
show examples
 than the
men
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the age of 65 and over
both
Punctuation problem
, both
show examples
 will
shows
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
 an equal proportion of physical activities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, both were shared approximately 46.7% and 47.2%,
correspondingly
Rephrase
respectively
show examples
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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