The bar charts shows the details the percentage of two types of television programmes, namely reality and game shows watched by males and females in different age groups in Australia.

This
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report derives from two pie charts
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
illustrate the
percentage
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of females and males in different age groups in Australia who watch
reality
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shows and who watch
game
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shows. A glance at the graph reveals that people who are over 45 and females recorded the highest figures. Not only is
this
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point clear, but
also
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the proportion of males who watched the
reality
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shows was less than males who watched
game
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shows.
While
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fluctuation rate has happened in groups aged rangers from 16 to 45. Notably, the
percentage
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of females who watched
game
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shows was at 60%, compared with women who watched the
reality
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shows
about
Punctuation problem
, about
show examples
10% higher.
However
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, people over 45 recorded the highest figure in both
reality
Use synonyms
and
game
Use synonyms
shows at 70%. Meanwhile, individuals at 14 to 24 have the same
percentage
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at 50 for the two television programs . It is obvious that the
percentage
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of people in groups ranging from 25 to 44 has the lowest proportion of watching
game
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shows,
while
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a higher proportion for
reality
Use synonyms
shows at 60 and 65, respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, reality, game with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 9 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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