IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph compares employment rates in three sectors of the economy, in the UK, 2000-2010. Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The provided graph
analysis
Replace the word
analyses
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 the rates of employment in three different parts of the economy in the UK over a ten-year
period
Use synonyms
 starting from 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that there were considerable upward trends in the employment rates of both
Public
Correct article usage
the Public
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 and Self employed,
whereas
Linking Words
 the ratio of hiring
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Private
Correct article usage
the Private
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 saw a considerable fall over the
period
Use synonyms
 in question. Another
intereting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 point is that
Private
Correct article usage
the Private
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 was the most popular
part
Use synonyms
 in the beginning, but it was
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
. Looking at the details, as regards
Self employed
Use the right word
self-employed
show examples
,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of hiring started at just under 20% in 2000.
Then
Linking Words
 it rose steadily until 2002 and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost 20%,
then
Linking Words
 there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fluctuations over the next three years.
at
Fix capitalization
At
show examples
 which point it rose significantly and surpassed the Private
sector
Use synonyms
 in
nearly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
2008 and continued
unitl
Correct your spelling
until
 2010 at 30%. If we look at
Public
Correct article usage
the Public
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
, the trend was similar,
Having
Fix capitalization
having
show examples
 remained stable at just under 40% until 2002.
Linking Words
then
Fix capitalization
Then
show examples
 it rose
rapidaly
Correct your spelling
rapidly
 and surpassed
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
part
Use synonyms
 to become the major
part
Use synonyms
 and
domiated
Correct your spelling
dominated
Use synonyms
sector
Correct article usage
the sector
show examples
 at almost 48% in 2004 and continued to climb over the next years,
expect
Verb problem
except for
show examples
 some fluctuations in 2008.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
part
Use synonyms
 of Private went in
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 direction
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it
had
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fall
Replace the word
fell
show examples
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dramtically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 until the end of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, sector, part with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "considerable" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • sectors of the economy
  • upward trend
  • growth
  • stable rate
  • fluctuations
  • decline
  • services sector
  • industrial sector
  • agricultural sector
  • escalating
  • consistently
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • decade
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