IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently helped your company organise an event at a hotel. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter: – Provide details about the event – Mention what you particularly liked about the hotel – Suggest areas for improvement. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir / Madam,

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to provide you with a review
on
Change preposition
of
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 my recent stay at your hotel. My company asked me to
organize
Change the spelling
organise
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 an event to give farewell to our senior employees, so I booked the banquet hall at your hotel.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the hall was really spacious and
sitting
Correct article usage
the sitting
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 arrangements were perfect for the guests. All of our employees were impressed by the
lightings
Check wording
lighting
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 of the room
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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music
Correct article usage
the music
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 played throughout the event.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I particularly liked the variety of food you offered.
However
Linking Words
, there are some areas which can be
improvised
Verb problem
improved
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. First of all, I felt the need for
different
Correct article usage
a different
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 parking spot for elders or people with disabilities.
This
Linking Words
 can be in front of the building, which can give easy access to the main gate. Another thing is,
although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the food was really good and tasty,
but
Correct word choice
the
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 waiting time was too
much
Correct word choice
long
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 after placing the order.
This
Linking Words
 can be solved by hiring new staff for the kitchen.
Lastly
Linking Words
, thanks for your service
,
Punctuation problem
. I
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 hope you have a great day. Yours faithfully, Darshan

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task response
For task response, say more clear facts about the event, like how many people came and when it was held.
task response
For task response, your tone is mostly fine, but use more formal words like 'I would like to suggest' not 'hope you have a great day'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas are in a good order, but some linking words are not used well.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, keep one main point in each paragraph and make each paragraph flow more smoothly.
task response
For task response, you answered all three parts of the question.
task response
For task response, you gave clear likes and clear ideas for change.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you used paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
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