IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar graph illustrates how much
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
does
Verb problem
apply
show examples
both
ganders
Correct your spelling
genders
 have based on their employment status in the period of one year (from 1998 to 1999). Figures are given in
hours
Use synonyms
. In general, the sum of all
females
Check wording
females'
show examples
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 based on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all employment
categories
Use synonyms
 is
singificanlty
Correct your spelling
significantly
 more than
Use synonyms
males
Check wording
males'
show examples
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
. Notable data can be seen in the
categories
Use synonyms
 "employed
part
Correct your spelling
part-time
time
Use synonyms
" and
in
Change preposition
apply
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"housewife", where there are no
males
Use synonyms
 included. The highest points in
leisure
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time
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 for men in
categories
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 of "unemployed" and "retired".
Similary
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Similarly
, for
woman
Check wording
women
show examples
, in both of the
categories
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. Regarding the
males
Use synonyms
, they have higher
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 in the
categories
Use synonyms
 "employed full
time
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", "
unemploed
Correct your spelling
unemployed
", and "retired", respectively, 48
hours
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, 85
hours
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 and again 85
hours
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 females, surpassed
males
Use synonyms
 only in
categories
Use synonyms
 "employed
far
Correct word choice
full-time
show examples
time
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" and "
housewifes
Correct your spelling
housewives
" with
repsectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
 43 and 50
hours
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.
Notable is that
Rephrase
Notably
show examples
, there were no
males
Use synonyms
 in both
categories
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words leisure, time, hours, categories, males with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • employment status
  • full-time employment
  • part-time employment
  • unemployed
  • retired
  • housewives
  • gender comparison
  • notable differences
  • allocate time
  • trend analysis
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • societal norms
  • economic factors
  • gender-specific trends
  • employment transition
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