IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have seen an adverstisement for weekend work in a hotel in the town where you are staying. You have worked in a hotel before and think that the job would be suitable for you. You must apply in writing. Write a letter to the hotel manager expressing your interest. In your letter . Introduce yourself . Explain why you think you would be suitable for the job . ask what work you would be expected to do

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my interest in the
Hotel
Use synonyms
 job position
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 saw in the
news paper
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newspaper
last
Linking Words
 week.My names are Nancy Jones. I am a female,Zambian. Currently based in
Lusaka
Punctuation problem
Lusaka,
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 where your
Hotel
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 is located. I believe
i
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I
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 am the best candidate because
i
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I
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 have 10 years
,
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of
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 working experience in a
hotel
Use synonyms
 as
Use synonyms
hotel
Correct article usage
a hotel
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 attendant
, my
Punctuation problem
. My
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 job duties include
;
Punctuation problem
apply
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 serving clients, doing laundry, preparing meals, attending to
customers
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customers'
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 needs and bed making. I have the ability to communicate
respectifully
Correct your spelling
respectfully
 and effectively with customers. I am patient, understanding, punctual, mult-tasking skills and
ability
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the ability
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 to remain calm in emergency situations. I would like to know the job description and the duties that
i
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I
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 will be performing. In my previous
role
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role,
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 my duties were
;
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:
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 greeting customers, dealing with lost and found items,
hotel
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 reservations, arranging board-meetings , cleaning and making phone calls. Your response would be highly appreciated. Yours sincerely, Nancy Jones.

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but add more clear detail about why you fit this hotel job.
task response
Task response: Ask the work question in a more direct way, for example: What work would I do each weekend?
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some ideas are long and mixed. Use shorter lines and link words like also, so, and because.
task response
Task response: You introduce yourself and give your work past clearly.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter format is right, with greeting and closing.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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