IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The line chart illustrates how many
books
Use synonyms
 were taken from four different
libraries
Use synonyms
 from
june
Fix capitalization
June
show examples
 to
september
Fix capitalization
September
show examples
 in 2014,
while
Linking Words
 pau chart gives information about
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of genres of these
books
Use synonyms
. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective,
it is clear that
Linking Words
sutton wood
Fix capitalization
Sutton Wood Library
show examples
library
Use synonyms
 had a significant fluctuation
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 reached the highest and lowest peak of
books
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
borrowed over the four
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
, whilst others just had
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
 decrease or increase.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can be seen that fiction was the most popular
book
Check wording
genre
show examples
 among other types. West
eaton
Fix capitalization
Eaton
show examples
 and church mount
libraries
Use synonyms
' figures
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. In
june
Correct your spelling
June,
 both
libraries
Use synonyms
lend
Wrong verb form
lent
show examples
 50
books
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
books
Use synonyms
which was
Correct subject-verb agreement
that were
show examples
 borrowed
rised
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 during
4
Correct article usage
the 4
show examples
month and in september they
likewise
Linking Words
 gave
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
books
Use synonyms
namely
Punctuation problem
, namely
show examples
 150. Ryeslop
library
Use synonyms
 started a decline in
books
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 were borrowed at point 300
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 without
changes
Punctuation problem
changes,
show examples
 finished its decline with 175
books
Use synonyms
. Sutton
wood
Fix capitalization
Wood
show examples
library
Use synonyms
 had both
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increasing and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decreasing figures in
books
Use synonyms
 which were given to people for
time
Correct article usage
a time
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
 other
libraries
Use synonyms
 only climbed up or dropped. That
library
Use synonyms
lended
Wrong verb form
lent
show examples
 250
books
Use synonyms
 in
june
Correct your spelling
June,
 and
amount
Check wording
the number
show examples
 of
books
Use synonyms
 had insignificant growth before
july
Punctuation problem
July. In August
show examples
,
in august
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 had a minimum number of
books
Use synonyms
 that were borrowed
100
Punctuation problem
, 100
show examples
 and in
August
Check wording
contrast
show examples
,
by contrast
Linking Words
 in september had a peak of
books
Use synonyms
 that
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 borrowed
namely
Punctuation problem
, namely
show examples
 300. The fiction was more prefered genre of
books
Use synonyms
43
Punctuation problem
, 43
show examples
%, whilst self-help was
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 popular
10
Punctuation problem
, 10
show examples
%. History and science had
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 requirement
namely
Punctuation problem
, namely
show examples
 14%,
while
Linking Words
 biography book was prefered by people
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
by 5%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, libraries, library with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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