IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table and chart below show the total number of cruise passengers and their percentage by age group in 1975 and 2003 in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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These
two
Use synonyms
table
Fix the agreement mistake
tables
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 and chart illustrates the number of
cruise
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 users and their rate by age group between
in
Change preposition
apply
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1975 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total
passengers of
Correct word order
number of cruise passengers
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cruise
Use synonyms
 grew in 2003
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the percentage of most
of
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apply
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age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 who use the
cruise
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also
Linking Words
 rose, except for
two
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groups
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 that are 25 or under and 66 or older. First of all, the number of passengers taking
cruise
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 were soared
two
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 times more from
in
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apply
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1975 to 2003, which is represented
397,837
Change preposition
by 397,837
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 and 1,005,231, respectively. Looking at the rate of population divided
ages
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by age
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, most
of
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apply
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groups
Use synonyms
 slightly increased their passenger of
cruise
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. Among
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groups
Correct article usage
the groups
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range
Wrong verb form
ranging
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 from 26 years old to 65 years old, the group of 56-65 showed the most upgraded figures by about 5%.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, the only
two
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section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
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 of 25 or under and 66 or older were decreased proportion over the
two
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period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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, which is downward by about 5 percent of each
Use synonyms
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
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.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words two, cruise, groups with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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