IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently bought some clothes from an online store, but you are unhappy with your purchase. Write a letter to the company you ordered the clothes from. In your letter: • give details of your purchase • describe the problem • explain why you need an urgent replacement You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my disappointment regarding a
shirt
Use synonyms
 I purchased from
downtown
Correct article usage
a downtown
show examples
 store on 21 of August
last
Linking Words
 week.
Last
Linking Words
 week, I visited your downtown store to buy a white
shirt
Use synonyms
 because I had a very important interview with a company. Unfortunately, when I washed and ironed my
shirt
Use synonyms
, the colour
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 faded, and it
makes
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 wearing
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
interview
Correct article usage
an interview
show examples
 harder
due to
Linking Words
colour
Correct article usage
the colour
show examples
. Given that reason, I need a new white
shirt
Use synonyms
 to join the interview. I kindly request that my
shirt
Use synonyms
 be changed for a new one, which enables me to build confidence and wear the exact dress-code
that is
Linking Words
 described in the e-mail. Alternatively, I would appreciate it if you could compansate my money. Thank you for your time and consideration. I am looking for your response. Best regards, Ibrahim

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Score: 6. You answer all three points, but some facts are not clear. You say this was an online store in the task, but your letter says you visited a downtown store. Add the order number, date, size, and price if you can.
task response
Say the urgent reason more clearly: give the date of the interview and ask for the new shirt before that day.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. The order of ideas is good, but use clear links: “However”, “As a result”, and “Therefore”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each part: first the order, then the problem, then the urgent need and your request.
language
Check small word forms: “on 21 August”, “the colour faded”, “it is hard to wear it to the interview”, “compensate me”, and “I look forward to your response.”
task response
You give the main facts: what you bought, what went wrong, and why you need a new shirt soon.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, main part, request, and polite ending.
tone
Your tone is polite, with phrases such as “I kindly request” and “Thank you for your time and consideration.”
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: