IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently buy a brand new air conditioning from an, but upon receiving it, you noticed some issues with the product service. Write a complaint letter to the customer service department of the retailer, outlining the problem you have encountered and requesting a resolution.

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Dear Manager, I am writing
this
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 letter to express my disappointment
,
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 regarding the air conditioning
,
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I recently ordered from your an. I was very excited about it, but right after two days,
technician
Correct article usage
the technician
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 installed it,
Correct word choice
and
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somehow it suddenly stopped
doing
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cooling.
Moreover
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, there is a leakage from the pipe
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also
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in my room. I spent 1500$ on
this
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product
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, but the quality of
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product
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the product
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i recieved
Correct your spelling
I received
 is very bad. The temperature outside is so high, it is very difficult for me
,
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 and my baby to stay inside without air conditioning .
we are sweatning
Wrong verb form
We have been sweating
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 and restless from
last
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 two days. It is my request to
customer
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the customer
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 service department , kindly exchange
this
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product
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 and provide me brand new air conditioning as soon as possible . I am attaching the receipt of purchase for your reference. I am hoping to get the good quality new
product
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 very soon. Yours
Faithfully
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faithfully
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, RAJ

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task response
State the shop name, order date, and model number. Say clearly what you want: a new unit, a repair, or your money back. Give a short time for their reply.
task response
Use a more formal tone. Write “I would like to request” instead of “It is my request”. Avoid very personal lines such as “we are sweating and restless”.
coherence and cohesion
Put the main problem in one clear order: the unit stopped cooling, then the pipe began to leak, then ask for a new unit. Use simple links such as “First”, “Also”, and “Therefore”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main point. The first can explain the order, the next can explain the faults, and the last can ask for help.
coherence and cohesion
Add a clear subject in each sentence. For example: “The technician installed it two days ago, but it stopped cooling soon after.”
task response
You clearly say that the air conditioner stopped cooling and that there is a leak. You also ask for a new product.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear opening, a paragraph about the problems, and a closing request. The receipt detail is useful.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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