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Band 5.5

Women and man are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, some people believe that it is right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#women #man #strengths #weaknesses #people #right #males #females #professions #gender
Some people consider that several specific jobs should be
gender
-based allocated due to the discrepancy of attributes between men and women.
Although
 I accept that
this
 measure may be reasonable in certain situations, I believe that it has adverse impacts on
gender
 equality. One of the
hand
Suggestion
hands
, recruitment criteria
sometimes tends
Suggestion
sometimes tend
 to be inclined on
gender
 aspects.
Firstly
, society has yet to accept men engaging in many traditional women's working areas,
such
 as makeup-related jobs or babysitting. Employers are not likely to hire men because their female customers would be not satisfied for a man to deal with these services. My friend is a case
of
Suggestion
on
this
 point; though he graduated as a kindergarten teacher, has yet to find a job related to his
specialty
Suggestion
Specialty
.
Secondly
, physically demanding
jobs
Accept comma addition
jobs, such
such
 as
miner
Suggestion
miners
a miner
, blue-collar
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 rarely encounter women, because they can hardly keep up with the heavy workload,
therefore
 declining productivity in work.
On the other hand
, it is widely believed that
this
 would exacerbate the
gender
 issues,
especially
Suggestion
especial
 regard to the feminism. Separating women from several certain professions could predispose them to feel discriminated, because they probably consider that their contributions are not sufficient to be recognized by the community. While the current society is swarmed with the discriminations regarding race and religion,
this
 notion could break out feminism movements.
Although
 people nowadays appear to be less prejudiced in evaluating jobs based on
gender
facets
a piece of information about circumstances that exist or events that have occurred
facts
, and the government is continuously struggling to tackle
gender
 equality issues, excluding man and women from specific employments still makes it possible to aggravate the problem. In conclusion,
although
 it is relatively reasonable to classify several certain professions which are suitable for each
gender
, I believe that we may face up to serious
gender
 equality problems if we conduct that.
Submitted by Thanh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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