The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
These charts show us
tthe
Correct your spelling
the
data about
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
students
of
an
Change the article
a
show examples
university in England speaking
languages
other than
Engliah
Correct your spelling
English
in
Change the article
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
2000 and in 2010. As we can see that majority of
students
speak at least one extra
language
other than
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
,
while
some
students
even speak two other
languages
. In the
year
20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
students
were only using
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
whereas
in the
year
2010
Add a comma
,2010
show examples
this
percentage fell way down to 10%. If we talk about
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2000, most of the
students
were able to speak
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
show examples
, which is about 30% followed by german and another
language
at 15%. But in 2010 Spanish speakers rose to 35%
along with
another
language
which experienced an increase of 5%
while
German remained at 15%. The
students
Correct quantifier usage
number of students
show examples
speaking two other
languages
also
increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
5% in 10 years. The
languages
like German and French both are at 10% in 2010
along with
students
speaking no other
language
.
Overall
it can be concluded that as time is passing by
students
are becoming
more keen
Replace the words
keener
show examples
to learn
languages
.
Submitted by zoyapervez21 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "along with, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, languages, year, language with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • multilingualism
  • globalisation
  • immigration
  • education policy
  • career prospects
  • cultural understanding
  • distribution
  • percentage
  • increased/decreased
  • significant
  • trends
  • shifts
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