Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree ?

Although
over a half of
employees
in the company in some developed countries
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
women, almost
chief
Correct quantifier usage
all chief
show examples
executive officers are men. Some individuals believe that companies should provide the exact number of these high-level positions to
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.
This
essay totally
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
with
this
statement because it is
gender
discrimination and it
also
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
their
employees
burn out. The primary reason why
this
policy should not be taken in any
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
show examples
is that everyone should receive equal opportunities to get promoted no matter what their
gender
is. In order to achieve career advancement,
employees
should focus on using their dominant and flawless work to be
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
evidence of proofing that they deserve to be in a higher position not because of
gender
discrimination. To illustrate, the cosmetics company in Bangkok select its chief by evaluating the performance.
Therefore
, it is possible for the only man in the company to get into
this
position. The
second
main reason why it is unacceptable to distribute a certain percentage of the executive officers to one
gender
is that it
lessen
Change the verb form
lessens
show examples
the effectiveness of other
employees
' performance. It cannot be denied that if they know that there are fewer chances for them to get into upper-level positions, they will be no longer show enthusiasm in working and
this
leads to
worsen
Change the verb form
worsening
show examples
their abilities in working in the future.
For example
, i In conclusion,
this
essay
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
that the allocation of higher position based on
gender
should not be encouraged because it is unfair to another unselected
gender
and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lower
Change the verb form
lowers
show examples
the efficiency of other people.
Submitted by Varaiphand on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender diversity
  • Affirmative action
  • Meritocracy
  • Quotas
  • Glass ceiling
  • Legal enforcement
  • Tokenism
  • Voluntary measures
  • Career progression
  • Representation
  • Workforce parity
  • Backlash
  • Historical imbalances
  • Corporate governance
  • Inclusive practices
  • Boardroom dynamics
  • Gender norms
  • Unconscious bias
  • Regulatory frameworks
  • Corporate ladder
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