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Band 4

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be require to allocate a certain percentage of these position to women. Do you agree?

#level #positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #cent #percentage #position #women
Modern times have influenced different aspects of human
life
such
 as styles of making money that it has been changing
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
This
 transformation cause
that
Correct word choice
apply
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many workers who live off using
Correct pronoun usage
their brain
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brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
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instead
 of
Add an article
the body
a body
show examples
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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 in closed areas
,
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apply
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 had started feeling depressive at the
Correct your spelling
beginning
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
centuries
Fix the agreement mistake
century
show examples
 along with urban growth. In
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decades,
office
 employees who are called white-collar
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 began seeking a solution way for
overcoming
Wrong verb form
overcome
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 stressful
life
. One of the most popular
method
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methods
show examples
 is giving up the job and settling
a
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in a
show examples
small village for coping with dull
office
life
.
However
,
this
 idea is not practicable because of two main
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
: urban opportunities and
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
To begin
 with,
although
 city
life
 has many negative effects on human
pshychology
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psychology
, it submits several
potentiality
Change to a plural noun
potentialities
show examples
 to
people
such
 as education, health services, and cultural activities.
Therefore
, these things
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned above, make
difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
show examples
getaway
Correct your spelling
get away
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 from cities. To illustrate, if
labored
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laboured
show examples
people
 have
child
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children
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, they must take care
school
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of school
show examples
 issues which can solve in cities easier than
countrysides
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countryside
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 as well
cultural
Correct word choice
as cultural
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 advancement.
Moreover
,
agedness
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ageing
show examples
 when
people
 encounter many medical problems
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 should be considered for reaching health care services which are unavailable properly in rural. Another challenge for working
people
 who
want
Correct your spelling
won't
show examples
quit
Change the verb form
to quit
show examples
 their positions and move out of cities is that they have got used to
living
Correct article usage
the living
show examples
 conditions of urban especially working habits. In fact, earning money in rural areas
mostly
Add a missing verb
is mostly
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 based on physical power like harvest, building, and animal
husbandary
Correct your spelling
husbandry
.
Thus
,
Add an article
the realty
show examples
Correct your spelling
reality
show examples
realty
Correct your spelling
reality
show examples
 of rural
life
harder
Add a missing verb
is harder
show examples
 than
dreams
Correct article usage
the dreams
show examples
 of
office
 workers which
involve
Correct subject-verb agreement
involves
show examples
 quiet and natural living. Briefly, due to solutions of
office
 employees for changing their
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
, rustic
life
 has many difficulties
such
 as making money, living habits, education, health, and cultural facilities. It seems to me
office
 workers should prefer another way for increasing degree of stress like
findig
Correct your spelling
finding
 diverse hobbies rather than fundamental plans.
Submitted by myurt4848 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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