IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Men and women are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right ot exclude males and females form certain professions because of their gender.

#men #women #strengths #weaknesses #right #ot #males #females #form #professions #gender
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Initially
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,
men
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 were always stronger and less weak than
women
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.
However
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, there are many individuals who
suggeste
Correct your spelling
suggested
suggest
 that
women
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 should have access to all
jobs
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 like
men
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 and
Use synonyms
men
Correct word choice
that men
show examples
 do not have to do some
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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certain
jobs
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. So ,
this
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 essay will
further
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 explore
this
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thought provoking
Add a hyphen
thought-provoking
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 issue. 
To begin
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 with, in the past
women
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 did not have permission to do everything
instead
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 of
brought
Wrong verb form
bringing
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 up children. Meanwhile,
men
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 worked in different manufactures for twelve hours
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 day .
As a result
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 , that caused disastrous consequences. Life expectancy was
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the lowest level ( around 30 years ).
Also
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, all
this
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labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 did not alleviate situations. People struggled
of
Change preposition
with
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 famine and were underprivileged. I mean
that
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is
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 had
Correct article usage
the rights
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rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
 to work as
men
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 it would be easier
to
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for
show examples
 every family. Nowadays, we have
prosperous
Add an article
a prosperous
show examples
 situation.
Women
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 can work in different
jobs
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. The average working time
6
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is 6
show examples
hours.
However
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, we should separate two types of
jobs
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 into two groups. The first group will be more appropriate for
men
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. The second group will be more suitable for
women
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. It does not mean that we need
exclude
Fix the infinitive
to exclude
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 males and females from certain professions. It means that we have to make
creteria
Correct your spelling
criteria
 for every occupation.
As a result
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, ladies and gentlemen will understand does
this
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 vocation
relevant
Add a missing verb
is relevant
show examples
 or not. By way of conclusion, we do not have to exclude people from
different
Add an article
a different
the different
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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due to
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theire
Correct your spelling
their
 gender. If everything is fine
then
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 let them work.
Submitted by slobodanatol83 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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