The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group

The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group
The chart illustrates the
percentage
of
men
and
women
who consume five or more portions of fruit and vegetables per day
according to
their
age
in 2006. At first glance, it can clearly be seen that the highest percentages were
men
and
women
who are in the
age
group
between 55 to 64. First of all, the
percentage
of females between 19 to 24 years was slightly more than 15%. After that, the
percentage
of males reached exactly 15%.
Next,
the percentages of the males and females
age
group
of 25 to 34 were 20% and 22%, respectively.
According to
people who are in the
age
group
of 35-44, the ratio of
women
was 25%,
while
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
men
reached higher than 20%. The 45-54
age
group
of
men
stood at the same
percentage
.
On the other hand
, the
women
's
percentage
increased reaching almost 30%. Following that, the ratio of
women
kept rising until remaining constant at 35%. The
men
's ratio was
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
35%. By far, the
age
group
of 65 to 74 in males and females were similar. The
percentage
of
men
was 27% and the
percentage
of
women
was 30%.
Lastly
, the percentages of the
age
group
of 75 in
men
and
women
were the same which is 25%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, men, women, age, group with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 10 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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