The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group

The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group
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The chart illustrates the
percentage
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of
men
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and
women
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who consume five or more portions of fruit and vegetables per day
according to
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their
age
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in 2006. At first glance, it can clearly be seen that the highest percentages were
men
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and
women
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who are in the
age
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group
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between 55 to 64. First of all, the
percentage
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of females between 19 to 24 years was slightly more than 15%. After that, the
percentage
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of males reached exactly 15%.
Next,
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the percentages of the males and females
age
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group
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of 25 to 34 were 20% and 22%, respectively.
According to
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people who are in the
age
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group
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of 35-44, the ratio of
women
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was 25%,
while
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in
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apply
show examples
men
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reached higher than 20%. The 45-54
age
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group
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of
men
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stood at the same
percentage
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.
On the other hand
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, the
women
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's
percentage
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increased reaching almost 30%. Following that, the ratio of
women
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kept rising until remaining constant at 35%. The
men
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's ratio was
near
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nearly
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35%. By far, the
age
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group
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of 65 to 74 in males and females were similar. The
percentage
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of
men
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was 27% and the
percentage
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of
women
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was 30%.
Lastly
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, the percentages of the
age
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group
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of 75 in
men
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and
women
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were the same which is 25%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, men, women, age, group with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 10 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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