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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010 summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010 summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english #information #features #comparison
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The pie chart Illustrates the number of
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 speaking
students
Use synonyms
 who
speaks
Change the verb form
speak
show examples
 other languages
in
Change preposition
at
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an
Change the article
a
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 university in
england
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England
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, in the period
of
Change preposition
between
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 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, many
students
Use synonyms
 spoke Spanish compared to other languages in both of the years.
To begin
Linking Words
, the
students
Use synonyms
 were able to
Communicate
Fix capitalization
communicate
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 in another language at 15%. it was slightly increased to 20%. There was
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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 in who used to speak
other language
Change the wording
another language
other languages
show examples
 at 10% and few
persons
Replace the word
people
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 were speaking in
english
Change the capitalization
English
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 rather than another language has been decreased from 20% to 10%.
whereas
Linking Words
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 were familiar only with French slowly declined from 15% to 10%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 least number of folks used only garman stayed at the same level at 10%. Approximately,
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 were talking in Spanish than other languages, which grew dramatically from 30% to 35% in 2010.
Submitted by sowmya madhavan on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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