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Band 5

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

#positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #cent #percentage #women
Most high-ranking
positions
 in
companies
 are being filled by men, despite that more than 50 per
cent
 of the employees are
women
 in a lot of high-income countries.
Companies
 should be forced to dispense a certain proportion of these posts to
women
.
This
 essay totally agrees with
this
 statement because, by doing
this
, the relative
level
 of
competence
 in the company
as well as
 the ability to cooperate would increase. By allocating a certain per
cent
 of high-
level
positions
 to
women
,
companies
 would reach a higher
competence
level
.
This
 is because a lot of
women
 with the right
competence
 are overlooked
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since the tradition of male executives
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 very strong. Allocated recruitment would result in
women
 with high
competence
 rather than mediocre men in those high-
level
positions
.
For example
, an audit of the relative
competence
level
 in one of the biggest investment banks in Sweden showed a significant increase after they decided to allocate at least 40 per
cent
 of their leading
positions
 to
women
.
Companies
 with gender equality show better cooperation.
In other words
, both male and female leaders are needed in a company because men and
women
 contribute with different aspects to the group dynamics.
For example
, in space
shuttles
Add a comma
,shuttles
show examples
 the crew is always formed with a certain per
cent
 of both female and male crewmembers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since cooperation is so vital. In conclusion,
this
 essay totally agrees with the statement that
companies
 should be obliged to recruit
women
 for a certain percentage of the leading
positions
 because
this
 is a way of increasing both the
level
 of
competence
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cooperation in the company.
Submitted by Melroy  on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender diversity
  • Affirmative action
  • Meritocracy
  • Quotas
  • Glass ceiling
  • Legal enforcement
  • Tokenism
  • Voluntary measures
  • Career progression
  • Representation
  • Workforce parity
  • Backlash
  • Historical imbalances
  • Corporate governance
  • Inclusive practices
  • Boardroom dynamics
  • Gender norms
  • Unconscious bias
  • Regulatory frameworks
  • Corporate ladder
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