IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Women and man are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, some people believe that it is right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#women #man #strengths #weaknesses #people #right #males #females #professions #gender
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Gender based
Add a hyphen
Gender-based
show examples
 jobs
has
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have
show examples
 always been a debatable topic until today. Several people thought dividing some
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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based
Change the form of the verb
base
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of
Change preposition
on
show examples
gender
 can be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right decision since both of them have totally different points of
strentghs
Correct your spelling
strengths
strength
 and
weeknesses
Correct your spelling
weaknesses
. I partially agree with the statement and will discuss
further
Correct pronoun usage
it further
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 in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, it is certain that men
holds
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hold
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 more
phyisical
Correct your spelling
physical
 power than
women
. As there are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
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 of jobs which cannot be done without physical strength,
that is
 why the government should give preference to males or pay them high wages in
comaprison
Correct your spelling
comparison
 to females in those
job
catergories
Correct your spelling
categories
.
For example
, it is hard for a woman to perform
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
 like mining, so
that is
 why
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most of the miners are boys. Other than that, categorising
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 on
gender
 will not
fair
Add a missing verb
be fair
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 to any sex.
This
 is simply because everyone has a dream to be something. When it comes to cerebral opportunities,
then
 everyone should have equal
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
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 to work for it. To
illusrtate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 it, if
State
Correct article usage
the State
show examples
will limit
Wrong verb form
limits
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nail
Correct article usage
the nail
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 artist profession only to
women
,
then
 it will be unfair to a man who always dreamed
to be
Change preposition
of being
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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one. In conclusion, it is
cyrstal
Correct your spelling
crystal
 clear that
women
 are weaker when it
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 to physicality
comapring
Correct your spelling
comparing
 to men. So it would be
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 choice to only hire
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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 or to pay them high
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
women
 when it is
realted
Correct your spelling
related
 to
extremely
Add an article
the extremely
an extremely
show examples
 hard physical
job
.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs that do not require any physical strength
such
 as teaching, engineering and others should not be for
specific
Add an article
a specific
show examples
gender
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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