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Band 5.5

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women.To what extent do you agree?

#positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #cent #percentage #women
It is believed by many individuals that most organizations prefer to hire men for
top level
Add a hyphen
top-level
show examples
positions
 rather than recruiting female
staff
 for the same, which is why, it is imperative to reserve a quota for them. I completely agree with
this
 ideology because it would promote equality and the concept of
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 empowerment. To inaugurate, hiring
women
staff
 or promoting the existing female
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 for high-level
positions
 may bring gender-based equality. When they were given equal opportunities, it could be a motivation for other working
women
 and they might be more productive than before. To exemplify.
a
Capitalize word
A
show examples
 primary example of
this
 is an IBM company, which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a reserve quota for
women
 for top management
positions
, just to give
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 treatment to all employees.
Thus
, its fair treatment plan
inspire
Change the verb form
inspires
show examples
 females to chase their dreams.
Moreover
, a set proportion of
women
 in
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
 top hierarchy can act as a model for other organizations to do the same. Becoming an influential figure not only
empower
Correct subject-verb agreement
empowers
show examples
 female workers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to improve their status in society. If more
women
staff
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 hired for executive
positions
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 more career growth opportunities they can encounter.
For instance
, one of the best examples of
this
 is the company
named
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Touchstone Educationals in India, which started with the vision of
women
 empowerment and recruits more female
staff
 and offers them
promotion
Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
show examples
 on the basis of their yearly performance.
Also
 ,
this
 trend is being imitated by other organizations over there. In conclusion, I strongly support the idea of saving
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 proportion of higher
positions
 for
women
, as it may bring
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 transformation in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by meghnabawa91 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender diversity
  • Affirmative action
  • Meritocracy
  • Quotas
  • Glass ceiling
  • Legal enforcement
  • Tokenism
  • Voluntary measures
  • Career progression
  • Representation
  • Workforce parity
  • Backlash
  • Historical imbalances
  • Corporate governance
  • Inclusive practices
  • Boardroom dynamics
  • Gender norms
  • Unconscious bias
  • Regulatory frameworks
  • Corporate ladder
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