1.Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women

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It is true that most management
positions
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in business are taken by
men
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even though over 50% of the workforce in numerous industrial nations are
women
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. Some argue that
this
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kind of
company
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should allocate a certain proportion of these
positions
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to
women
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. In
this
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essay, I will explain why I tend to agree with
this
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notion. I concede that there might be some reasons why
companies
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tend to hire
men
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staff to be managers and perhaps the most obvious reason is that
women
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usually have to take one or two years’ leave for childbearing. If
women
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take the role of management, they tend to have more responsibilities and the
company
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relies on their performance. As
such
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, if
women
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leave for their pregnancy and bearing, the
company
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may well face the challenges of finding the right person to replace
such
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an important position, which is why most
companies
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tend to choose
men
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to be in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
positions
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.
For example
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, my aunt Lily, who is 30, plans to have her own baby in the next couple of years, making her unable to apply for any
further
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positions
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in her
company
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, and
this
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leads to fewer chances for her to attain higher
positions
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in her career.
However
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, I believe that
companies
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should be regulated to allocate certain
positions
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to
women
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for several reasons.
Firstly
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,
women
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are typically more patient and people-oriented, which makes them more suitable for
leader
Replace the word
leadership
show examples
roles. Facebook,
for instance
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, which is one of the most renowned IT
companies
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, employs
women
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as their CEO.
As a result
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, they build up an excellent team and perform
outstanding
Change the adjective
outstandingly
show examples
in their field, which means
women
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leaders arguably can lead a
company
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to success.
Secondly
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,
women
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might be more knowledgeable and well-equipped than
men
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in some
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
especially
women
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take
Correct pronoun usage
who take
show examples
over 50% of the total workforce. When
women
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have more working experience in their roles, they tend to be more capable and skilled, as
such
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they
invariably
Add a missing verb
are invariably
show examples
more suitable to take leadership in their familiar field. What
this
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does is make it potentially absolutely beneficial for
companies
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. In conclusion,
while
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companies
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in developed countries tend to hire
men
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to be
Verb problem
in
show examples
their leading roles, I believe
women
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should be preferred and considered for the reasons above.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender diversity
  • Affirmative action
  • Meritocracy
  • Quotas
  • Glass ceiling
  • Legal enforcement
  • Tokenism
  • Voluntary measures
  • Career progression
  • Representation
  • Workforce parity
  • Backlash
  • Historical imbalances
  • Corporate governance
  • Inclusive practices
  • Boardroom dynamics
  • Gender norms
  • Unconscious bias
  • Regulatory frameworks
  • Corporate ladder
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