1.Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women

It is true that most management
positions
in business are taken by
men
even though over 50% of the workforce in numerous industrial nations are
women
. Some argue that
this
kind of
company
should allocate a certain proportion of these
positions
to
women
. In
this
essay, I will explain why I tend to agree with
this
notion. I concede that there might be some reasons why
companies
tend to hire
men
staff to be managers and perhaps the most obvious reason is that
women
usually have to take one or two years’ leave for childbearing. If
women
take the role of management, they tend to have more responsibilities and the
company
relies on their performance. As
such
, if
women
leave for their pregnancy and bearing, the
company
may well face the challenges of finding the right person to replace
such
an important position, which is why most
companies
tend to choose
men
to be in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
positions
.
For example
, my aunt Lily, who is 30, plans to have her own baby in the next couple of years, making her unable to apply for any
further
positions
in her
company
, and
this
leads to fewer chances for her to attain higher
positions
in her career.
However
, I believe that
companies
should be regulated to allocate certain
positions
to
women
for several reasons.
Firstly
,
women
are typically more patient and people-oriented, which makes them more suitable for
leader
Replace the word
leadership
show examples
roles. Facebook,
for instance
, which is one of the most renowned IT
companies
, employs
women
as their CEO.
As a result
, they build up an excellent team and perform
outstanding
Change the adjective
outstandingly
show examples
in their field, which means
women
leaders arguably can lead a
company
to success.
Secondly
,
women
might be more knowledgeable and well-equipped than
men
in some
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
especially
women
take
Correct pronoun usage
who take
show examples
over 50% of the total workforce. When
women
have more working experience in their roles, they tend to be more capable and skilled, as
such
they
invariably
Add a missing verb
are invariably
show examples
more suitable to take leadership in their familiar field. What
this
does is make it potentially absolutely beneficial for
companies
. In conclusion,
while
companies
in developed countries tend to hire
men
to be
Verb problem
in
show examples
their leading roles, I believe
women
should be preferred and considered for the reasons above.
Submitted by 15219169 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender diversity
  • Affirmative action
  • Meritocracy
  • Quotas
  • Glass ceiling
  • Legal enforcement
  • Tokenism
  • Voluntary measures
  • Career progression
  • Representation
  • Workforce parity
  • Backlash
  • Historical imbalances
  • Corporate governance
  • Inclusive practices
  • Boardroom dynamics
  • Gender norms
  • Unconscious bias
  • Regulatory frameworks
  • Corporate ladder
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