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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 pie charts show the statistics of the
students
Use synonyms
 of the UK in a specific university who were able to speak in
English
Use synonyms
 and were multilingual as well in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, Spanish was the most spoken
always
Rephrase
language ever
show examples
.
French occupied
Add a hyphen
French-occupied
show examples
 a good place. A
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
 proportion of
students
Use synonyms
 were unable to talk in other
languages
Use synonyms
 except
English
Use synonyms
 but the rate
had been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
declined later in 2010. In 2010, Spanish
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 spoken by 30%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
. Only 10% of
students
Use synonyms
 could speak
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
German and 15% French. 10% of
students
Use synonyms
 were able to speak two other
languages
Use synonyms
 out of
this
Linking Words
 list.
Besides
Linking Words
, 15%
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been shown as another language speakers.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast, 20% of
students
Use synonyms
 could speak in
English
Use synonyms
 only. Afterward, In 2010 the sums were changed dramatically. Only 10%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 were unable to speak other
languages
Use synonyms
 than
English
Use synonyms
. The rate for Spanish, Two other
languages
Use synonyms
 and Another language faced a rise and stood at 35%, 15% and 20%.
In Addition
Linking Words
, the statistics for French fell and stood at 10%. The percentage for
German
Fix the agreement mistake
Germans
show examples
 was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in 2010 as
2000
Change preposition
in 2000
show examples
.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, english, languages with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • multilingualism
  • globalisation
  • immigration
  • education policy
  • career prospects
  • cultural understanding
  • distribution
  • percentage
  • increased/decreased
  • significant
  • trends
  • shifts
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