The line chart illustrates the labour force employment in five economic sectors during the period from 1930 to 2010 in USA. These five economic sectors include industrial sector, sales and office, farming and fishing and foresting, technical sector, and other services.

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The line graph shows the

labour

force employment in five sectors during the period from 1930 to 2010. These five are farming and fishing and foresting ,ar technical sector ,sales and office ,industrial and other

servies

Correct your spelling

services

. The line graph shows the downfall of farming ,fishing and foresting. The graph shows the increase

Change preposition

show examples

labour

employment in other sectors . We would

vitness

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witness

the

gratest

Correct your spelling

greatest

downfall of farming , fishing and foresting in the

year

between 1970 and 1980 and

also

Change preposition

from

show examples

1990 to 2000. Technical

labour

force

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

zero between 1930

Correct word choice

and

show examples

1950, by the

year

2010

its

Correct your spelling

it was

show examples

more or less near to farming,fishing and foreting

labour

force. Sales and office had ups and downs but

some how

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somehow

show examples

it had managed to touch the 20% in the

year

2010. Other

serviece

Correct your spelling

service

services

labour

employement

Correct your spelling

employment

had a gradual

increse

Correct your spelling

increase

and steady

emloyment

Correct your spelling

employment

rate between the

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

1970 to 2010.

Submitted by insighttribez on Sun Nov 05 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words labour, year with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

147 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line chart illustrates the labour force employment in five economic sectors during the period from 1930 to 2010 in USA. These five economic sectors include industrial sector, sales and office, farming and fishing and foresting, technical sector, and other services.

Information technology enable many people to do their chores outside their workplace (e.g at home or while travelling) do the benefits outweigh the disadvantages

Write an IELTS essay writing task "There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?"

The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

If you could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?