Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

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Although
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the
women
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workforce of many developed nations is higher than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half, most
executive level
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executive-level
show examples
positions
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in companies
are hold
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are held
show examples
by
men
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. There is a suggestion that companies ought to give a certain proportion of these important
positions
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to females.
This
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essay totally agrees with
this
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offer because
women
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deserve more high-level
positions
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and they have great multitasking skills on
daily
Add an article
a daily
show examples
basis that can be beneficial for chief
positions
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. In terms of chief
positions
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,
Use synonyms
men
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men's
show examples
domination is obvious but
women
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deserve some of these
positions
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because they are more successful in
tetriary
Correct your spelling
tertiary
education than
men
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. They are studying really hard to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
more success and prove their abilities to join the workforce. Their commitment to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
more successful consistently
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
their percentages in all kinds of disciplines
such
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as engineering, medicine and law. To illustrate
this
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, in the United Kingdom,
women
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graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate
show examples
with much higher GPAs compared to their male counterparts and
eventually
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eventually,
show examples
they will be eligible to apply most significant majors. The vast majority of females
has
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have
show examples
natural multitasking skills;
therefore
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, they can handle
with
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apply
show examples
a lot of problems. Most time, they can do different things
such
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as cooking and caring
their
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for their
show examples
children at the same time, and they are more successful than
men
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in these fields.
For
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example
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example,
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in the Eastern
culture
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culture,
show examples
women
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have to raise their children, put a lot of effort
to do
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into doing
show examples
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
,
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apply
show examples
and contribute
their
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to their
show examples
household economically during their lives. These different challenges
strengh
Correct your spelling
strengthen
their multitasking skills that are definitely beneficial to execute a company. In conclusion,
women
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deserve more high-level
positions
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and their
couping
Correct your spelling
coping
show examples
mechanism to different tasks can be beneficial for executive
positions
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in terms of clarity and coherence. The main points are somewhat supported but could be more effectively developed.
task achievement
The response provides a complete answer to the task, but further development and more specific examples are necessary to fully address the prompt. The ideas are clear and mostly relevant, but more depth and specificity is needed.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender diversity
  • Affirmative action
  • Meritocracy
  • Quotas
  • Glass ceiling
  • Legal enforcement
  • Tokenism
  • Voluntary measures
  • Career progression
  • Representation
  • Workforce parity
  • Backlash
  • Historical imbalances
  • Corporate governance
  • Inclusive practices
  • Boardroom dynamics
  • Gender norms
  • Unconscious bias
  • Regulatory frameworks
  • Corporate ladder
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