Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?
Although
the women
workforce of many developed nations is higher than a
half, most Correct article usage
apply
executive level
Add a hyphen
executive-level
positions
in companies are hold
by Change the verb form
are held
men
. There is a suggestion that companies ought to give a certain proportion of these important positions
to females. This
essay totally agrees with this
offer because women
deserve more high-level positions
and they have great multitasking skills on daily
basis that can be beneficial for chief Add an article
a daily
positions
.
In terms of chief positions
, men
domination is obvious but Change noun form
men's
women
deserve some of these positions
because they are more successful in tetriary
education than Correct your spelling
tertiary
men
. They are studying really hard to achive
more success and prove their abilities to join the workforce. Their commitment to Correct your spelling
achieve
become
more successful consistently Wrong verb form
becoming
increase
their percentages in all kinds of disciplines Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
such
as engineering, medicine and law. To illustrate this
, in the United Kingdom, women
graduated
with much higher GPAs compared to their male counterparts and Wrong verb form
graduate
eventually
they will be eligible to apply most significant majors.
The vast majority of females Add a comma
eventually,
has
natural multitasking skills; Change the verb form
have
therefore
, they can handle with
a lot of problems. Most time, they can do different things Change preposition
apply
such
as cooking and caring their
children at the same time, and they are more successful than Change preposition
for their
men
in these fields. For
example
in the Eastern Add a comma
example,
culture
Add a comma
culture,
women
have to raise their children, put a lot of effort to do
Change preposition
into doing
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
,
and contribute Remove the comma
apply
their
household economically during their lives. These different challenges Change preposition
to their
strengh
their multitasking skills that are definitely beneficial to execute a company.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
strengthen
women
deserve more high-level positions
and their couping
mechanism to different tasks can be beneficial for executive Correct your spelling
coping
positions
.Submitted by historicalpen on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in terms of clarity and coherence. The main points are somewhat supported but could be more effectively developed.
task achievement
The response provides a complete answer to the task, but further development and more specific examples are necessary to fully address the prompt. The ideas are clear and mostly relevant, but more depth and specificity is needed.
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