IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. -How far do you agree? -What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid?

People
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 who
work
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 as nurses,
doctors
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, and teachers are not undervalued. But other workers
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
film
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actors
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 or company
bosses
Punctuation problem
bosses,
show examples
 are
also
Linking Words
 valued too. A lot of
people
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 think
film
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actors
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 are paid more than
doctors
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. In my opinion, they are both worthy of their salaries. In
film
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 production, there are bad
actors
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 like extras who are
people
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 who walk around
main
Correct article usage
the main
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actors
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, and
then
Linking Words
 main
actors
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 who
work
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 in a different part of the
film
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 industry with many years of
work
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experience
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. These two
jobs
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 have big differences which ordinary
people
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 cannot see. Thinking about
actors
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 having
more
Correct word choice
a higher
show examples
salary
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 than government
jobs
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 that are paid by the state,
such
Linking Words
 as
doctors
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, is not comparable.
Doctors
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, nurses, and teachers — all these
jobs
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 are very
valued
Replace the word
valuable
show examples
jobs
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 which help
people
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. But in the
salary
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 criteria, there is the meaning of
experience
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like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 in the
film
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 industry too. If you worked in
this
Linking Words
 job for a few years, you can get only
less
Correct word choice
a lower
show examples
salary
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 than
doctors
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 who
work
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 in neurology with a lot of
experience
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. The more
experience
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 you have, the higher your
salary
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 will be. So, do not judge
work
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 by its
salary
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. Every job has its hard side. If you love
this
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 job with its disadvantages, you don’t have to think about
salary
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. Every person has their future
work
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is very important to them.
Finally
Linking Words
, don’t listen to the environment, but listen to your heart, and you can reach more goals on your way to the dream future.

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task response
Make your view clear in the first line and stay with it. Answer both questions. Give 2-3 clear points for how to set pay and give a short example for each point.
coherence and cohesion
Make the essay flow in a steady path. Use one idea per paragraph and link them with small words like first, next, also, but, so. Have a short finish that restates your view.
perspective
The writer shows that value can come from more than money and that the topic needs fair talk.
content
The text notes pay can come from skill and time in the job.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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