IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portions of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart above illustrates the proportion of males and females eating 5 or more portions of fruit and vegetables per day by
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 in the UK in 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of people eating 5 or more portions a day in the 55-
64 years old
Correct your spelling
64-year-old
group
Use synonyms
 was the highest, the opposite was seen in the 19-
24 years old
Correct your spelling
24-year-old
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
. Standing at 75%, the
number
Use synonyms
 of people consuming enough fruit and vegetables in the 55-64
group
Use synonyms
 was the highest, followed by
65
Correct article usage
the 65
show examples
-74
group
Use synonyms
 and 75
Use synonyms
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 with respectively 57% and 50%. The figure for the 75
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 equals three-forth the
number
Use synonyms
 of 55-64
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of males and females in the 75
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
equaled
Change the spelling
equalled
show examples
 each other.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, standing at 50%,
45
Correct article usage
the 45
show examples
-54
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 was the highest, followed by 35-44, 25-34, and 19-24 with respectively 47%, 42% and 30%.
45
Correct article usage
The 45
show examples
-54
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 doubled
19
Change preposition
from 19
show examples
-24 and equaled
four-fifth
Fix the agreement mistake
four-fifths
show examples
25
Change preposition
of 25
show examples
-34.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in the 19-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of men and women
equal
Add a missing verb
is equal
show examples
 to each other.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: