The bar chart below shows the percentage ot Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage ot Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The picture denotes the proportion of
Australian
Fix the agreement mistake
Australians
show examples
who did daily physical exercise based on gender and separated into different
age
brackets throughout 2010. Generally,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
dominant
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
religiously doing physical activity
except
Add the preposition
except for
show examples
the youngest
age
brackets. The highest discrepancy
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
gender happened
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
35
Change preposition
of 35
show examples
to 44. Regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australian Women, almost
age
Correct determiner usage
every age
show examples
group surpassed Men's numbers, except
age
Change preposition
for age
show examples
15 to 24 (47,7%) which was 5% lower
the
Change preposition
than the
show examples
opposite gender. It seems that
age
group 35 to 44 (52,5%), 45 to 54 (53,3%), and 55 to 64 (53%) were considered as the most active of exercising their body.
Additionally
, the rest of the categories only scored below 48%.
Otherwise
, the young male was relatively consistent to do
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
out at 52,8%. The majority
age
group above 25+ stood at 42 - 47%, except 35 - 44 which scored below 40%.
Submitted by websiteonlyforme on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical activity
  • regular
  • percentage
  • age groups
  • trend
  • participation
  • health restrictions
  • lifestyle choices
  • awareness
  • gender differences
  • societal factors
  • cultural influences
  • improve
  • participation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: