Nowadays people are overburdened with their work from their job places, your organization has decided to lessen the burden of employees through various means. The higher officials of your organization want to know what the preferences of the employees are, to get rid of the burden so the decision to take a survey regarding this Option A: Giving a free trip to the employees’ with their family twice a year. Option B: Organizing creative workshop for employees’ every fortnight

In my view, opting for giving a free tour to the workers with their clans two times
in
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a year outweighs choosing to organize
creative
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a creative
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workshop for employees every fortnight.
This
preference is grounded on multifarious factors that I will delineate in the subsequent sections. To commence, one of the primary rationales for my standpoint is
the
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that
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job holders can spend their quality time with their family which will enable them to focus on work more concisely.
Moreover
, if they are satisfied with their job entitlements, they will be more productive.
Hence
, it will help them to refresh their mind after carrying out
stressful
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a stressful
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workload.
Further
to
this
, it will not only prompt them towards work but
also
they will try to do their best to their work.
On the other hand
, facilitating
workshop
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workshops
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every fortnight will not give them mental peace, on top they will feel that they are giving their leisure time to the company.
Additionally
, many people prefer to spend
the
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time with their family. After considering all the arguments, I assert proving
a
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an
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excursion from the company’s money
hold
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holds
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a leaning over arranging
extraordinary
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an extraordinary
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workshop. I appreciate the chance to express my perspective.
Submitted by Lisa Bhuiyan on

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logical structure
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logical structure
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supported main points
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complete response
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clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
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logical structure
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay had a good structure, with an introduction and conclusion that framed your argument well.
supported main points
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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