IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently purchased an item from a local store, but you are not satisfies with your purchase. Write a letter to the manager of the store. In your letter •Describe the item you bought and why you need it •explain why you are not happy with it •say what you would like the manager to do Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to bring to your notice about defective piece, which
was deliver
Change the verb form
was delivered
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 to me
on
Change preposition
apply
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last
Linking Words
 Thursday 26th May 2023. I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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purchased
Correct article usage
an amazon
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amazon kindle
Correct your spelling
Amazon Kindle
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 on Thursday from your departmental store, but it was not working as per expectation. The gadget is used for teaching my children online.
On
Change preposition
Upon
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 opening the package, I was
in shock
Change preposition
shocked
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 that it
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 not working as per
product
Correct article usage
the product
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 booklet. It was
disappointment
Add an article
a disappointment
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 to work on
defective
Add an article
the defective
a defective
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 piece. After trying 10 times somehow it starts working but performance is below expectation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I would like to exchange the product as it is mentioned in
warranty
Correct article usage
the warranty
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 period. The product has
12-month
Correct article usage
a 12-month
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 warranty and exchange clause from the date of purchase. For your reference receipt and warranty card
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 enclosed with
this
Linking Words
 letter. I look forward to your early response and waiting for
resolution
Correct article usage
the resolution
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 of the matter. Yours faithfully, Jay Michael

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task achievement
Clarify the specific issues with the Kindle in more detail to strengthen your case.
coherence cohesion
Smooth out sentence structure for better flow; consider varying sentence lengths.
task achievement
Provide a specific call to action or a timeline for the desired resolution.
task achievement
You clearly identified the problem and the action you want taken, which fulfils the task requirements.
greeting and closing
The introduction and closing are well-structured and polite.
logical structure
Logical structure with clear paragraphs covering different points.
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