IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts depict the percentages of British
students
Use synonyms
 at one university in the UK who had the ability to speak other
languages
Use synonyms
besides
Linking Words
 English, in 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 2000, most of the
students
Use synonyms
 spoke just Spanish and in 2010, it was improved,
while
Linking Words
 those
students
Use synonyms
 who could just speak English decreased in 2010. It can be seen that 30% of
students
Use synonyms
 spoke Spanish only,
whereas
Linking Words
 20% of them did not speak other language. Both groups of
students
Use synonyms
 with 15% could speak French only and another language. Again two other groups with 10% had the ability to speak two other
languages
Use synonyms
 and German only.
According to
Linking Words
 2010, those student who spoke just Spanish increased by only 5%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the French-spoken
group
Use synonyms
 and that considered a
group
Use synonyms
 with two other
languages
Use synonyms
 rose by 5%,
while
Linking Words
 the
group
Use synonyms
 with another language fell by 5%. The German-spoken
group
Use synonyms
 remained with a constant value. The number of
students
Use synonyms
 who could not speak other
languages
Use synonyms
 decreased by 10%
Submitted by brightstargalaxy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, languages, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • multilingualism
  • globalisation
  • immigration
  • education policy
  • career prospects
  • cultural understanding
  • distribution
  • percentage
  • increased/decreased
  • significant
  • trends
  • shifts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: