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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graphs below show the trends in three boys and girls names which are currently in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the trends in three boys and girls names which are currently in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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In the chart above, three
names
Use synonyms
 of
grils
Correct your spelling
girls
 and boys were provided. The chart
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
 the duration between 1925 and 2000. Some
names
Use synonyms
 become more popular and some are not famous. In the
frist
Correct your spelling
first
gragh
Correct your spelling
graph
, there are boys
names
Use synonyms
, which are Daniel, Oliver, and Alexander. In the year
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1925
Add a comma
1925,
show examples
 the
names
Use synonyms
 of Daniel and Alexander were close to each other.But,
then
Linking Words
oilver
Correct your spelling
silver
 became more used the Alexander.
Finaly
Correct your spelling
Finally
, in the year of 1975, the
Use synonyms
names
Fix the agreement mistake
name
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Oliver was not used at all, and the
name
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Danial
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 more popular.
However
Linking Words
, the second chart contains the trends of
girls
Change noun form
girls'
girl's
show examples
names
Use synonyms
. In the year of 1925,
Emily
Change noun form
Emily's
show examples
name
Use synonyms
 was the only
used
Correct pronoun usage
one used
show examples
 in the UK, and
then
Linking Words
 after 50 years it began to
compet
Correct your spelling
compete
complete
 the the
names
Use synonyms
 of Isabell and Sophia. Anyway, after 50 years, the
name
Use synonyms
 of Emily
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 the most used
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 UK in the
last
Linking Words
 century. In conclusion, there are many
trand
Correct your spelling
brand
Use synonyms
name
Change to a plural noun
names
show examples
 of
grils
Correct your spelling
girls
 and boys in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, but Daniel and Emily are the most famous
name
Use synonyms
 during the
last
Linking Words
 century. In my opinion, these two
Use synonyms
name
Change to a plural noun
names
show examples
 are pretty and nice
names
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words names, name with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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