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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table illustrates the number of employees and manufacturers in both England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Overall, the number of employees steadily declined, while the number of factories remained relatively stable over the fifty-year period. Looking more closely at the data, in 1851, there were 477,100 employees working in 225 factories, with the majority of workers being male. By 1861, the number of factories had slightly increased to 227, while the number of employees had noticeably decreased, with females making up the majority of the workforce—160,000 female workers compared to 131,780 male workers. In 1871, the number of factories surged dramatically, nearly tripling, though the decline in employee numbers continued. At this point, men became the predominant group among workers. This trend persisted until 1891, when the number of factories decreased from 721 in 1881 to 625. By 1901, with fewer workers overall and a higher proportion of men, the number of factories had dropped to 600, with the total number of employees falling to a low of 61,000. By means a turning point in history: by that time something changed.

The table illustrates the number of employees and manufacturers in both England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Overall, the number of employees steadily declined, while the number of factories remained relatively stable over the fifty-year period. Looking more closely at the data, in 1851, there were 477,100 employees working in 225 factories, with the majority of workers being male. By 1861, the number of factories had slightly increased to 227, while the number of employees had noticeably decreased, with females making up the majority of the workforce—160,000 female workers compared to 131,780 male workers. In 1871, the number of factories surged dramatically, nearly tripling, though the decline in employee numbers continued. At this point, men became the predominant group among workers. This trend persisted until 1891, when the number of factories decreased from 721 in 1881 to 625. By 1901, with fewer workers overall and a higher proportion of men, the number of factories had dropped to 600, with the total number of employees falling to a low of 61,000. By means a turning point in history: by that time something changed.
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The table illustrates the
number
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 of
employees
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 and manufacturers in both England and Wales from 1851 to 1901.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
employees
Use synonyms
 steadily declined,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
factories
Use synonyms
 remained relatively stable over the fifty-year period. Looking more closely at the data, in 1851, there were 477,100
employees
Use synonyms
 working in 225
factories
Use synonyms
, with the majority of
workers
Use synonyms
 being male. By 1861, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
factories
Use synonyms
 had slightly increased to 227,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
employees
Use synonyms
 had noticeably decreased, with females making up the majority of the workforce—160,000 female
workers
Use synonyms
 compared to 131,780 male
workers
Use synonyms
. In 1871, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
factories
Use synonyms
 surged dramatically, nearly tripling, though the decline in employee numbers continued. At
this
Linking Words
 point, men became the predominant group among
workers
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 trend persisted until 1891
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when the
number
Use synonyms
 of
factories
Use synonyms
 decreased from 721 in 1881 to 625. By 1901, with fewer
workers
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overall
Linking Words
 and a higher proportion of men, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
factories
Use synonyms
 had dropped to 600, with the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
employees
Use synonyms
 falling to a low of 61,000. By means
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
turning point in history: by that time something changed.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, employees, factories, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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