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Band 6.5

The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006.

The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006.
#world #health #organization #people #five #portion #fruit #vegetables #bar #percentage #males #females #uk #age #group
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart depicts a comparison between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
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 in types of consumption
five
Change preposition
of five
show examples
 or more portions of fruit and vegetables. It is measured by numbers in percentages in 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it can be clearly seen that females
at
Change preposition
aged
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 55 to 64
yeasr
Correct your spelling
years
year
 were the greatest
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 using fruit and vegetables.
By contrast
Linking Words
, males
at
Change preposition
aged
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 19 to 24 years were the lowest over
this
Linking Words
 year.
According to
Linking Words
 the given data in the following graph,
women
Use synonyms
 used 35% of food at
age
Use synonyms
 55-64. they were higher than
men
Use synonyms
 by 5%.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 only consumed 15% of meals
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the younger generation. They were lesser than
women
Use synonyms
 by only 1% at
age
Use synonyms
 19- 24.
However
Linking Words
, both genders over 70 shared
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same percentage which was 25%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 had nearly a similar percentage in the number of food at
age
Use synonyms
 25 to 44.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 were higher than
men
Use synonyms
 by 3% approximately in
this
Linking Words
 period of
age
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by saroooniiq8 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, women, men with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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