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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts compare the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
British
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 at a university in England speaking other languages except English in the years 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of
British
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 who were able to speak Spanish only was highest in two years, the opposite was true for that of German only was lowest. In 2000, the figure for
British
Use synonyms
 teenagers speaking Spanish was
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
, accounting for 30%, which was higher remarkably than that of no other languages, with 20%. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
British
Use synonyms
 teenagers who were able to speak French only and another language
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 identical, with 15%. The proportion of
British
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 speaking German only and two other languages
also
Linking Words
 were similar, with 10%. In 2010, the proportion of
British
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 speaking Spanish increased remarkably to 35%.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of
British
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students
Use synonyms
 speaking another language increased significantly to 20%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, there was a significant decrease to 10% in the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
British
Use synonyms
 teenagers with no other language.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
British
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 speaking French only considerably fell to 10%. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
British
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 speaking German only remained stable at 10%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "likewise".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, british, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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