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Writing Samples
Band 4

Now more than ever, people are aware of the importance of good health. Unfortunately, many have poor lifestyle habits that are difficult to break. It is crucial for people to adopt better physical and dietary routines if they expect to improve their health. Which of the following do you think is the best way to stay in good health? - Participating in group sports - Learning how to cook healthy meals - Joining a gym and following a strict exercise routine

#people #importance #health #lifestyle #habits #routines #group #sports #cook #meals #gym #exercise
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The chart shows the comparison
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 many international
students
 are studying at the cathedral school and where they come from.
Overall
, the
number
 of
students
 that come from Southeast Asia remained the highest during the
period
.
Students
 of Africa and
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
east
Capitalize word
East
show examples
 significantly increased within the given time.
Students
 that come from South Africa decreased until the
end
 of the
period
. The
number
 of
students
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Europe
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuation at that time. The
number
 of
students
 in Southeast Asia illustrated about 24 at the beginning of the
period
, later, in 1999, it dramatically declined to 16. Fortunately, by 2000, it continued to grow, again and it was 20. By the
end
 of the
period
, it rose sharply to 27. At the beginning of the time,
students
Correct article usage
the students
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Africa and
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 11, but, during the
period
, it began to rise slowly. In 1999,
students
 that
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 from there was 13,
then
, in the next year, it rose to 15.
At the
end
 of the
period
, it showed 18. In 1998, the
number
 of
students
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 South America
illustrated
Verb problem
was
show examples
 15. But, it
deceased
Correct your spelling
decreased
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gradual
Change the word
gradually
show examples
 to 10 in 1999. In the next year, it was 8,
then
, in 2001, it declined to 7.
Students
 that come from Europe
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 10
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the
period
. It increased to 12 in 1999. But,
then
, it dramatically decreased to 6. By the
end
 of the
period
, it rose to 8.
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task achievement
Your essay meets the task requirements and provides a comprehensive response. However, it's essential to ensure that the data comparison is more explicitly linked to your insights. Highlight the significance of the fluctuations and trends mentioned.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, consider using more varied sentence structures and linking words to create smoother transitions between ideas. This will enhance coherence and cohesion, making your points more seamlessly connected.
task achievement
You've accurately identified and described key trends and comparisons in the data provided, showing a solid understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure, with an introduction that sets the context and body paragraphs that follow logically from the introduction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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