IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 200 words.

The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 200 words.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The aim of
this
Linking Words
 report is to present the information in the
pie
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
 about the proportions of
graduates
Use synonyms
 from Brighton
University
Use synonyms
 in 2019 entering different employment
sectors
Use synonyms
. The data in
this
Linking Words
pie
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
 is divided into 10 different aspects: 4 big ones and 6 smaller ones. The first big
one
Use synonyms
 is the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
graduates
Use synonyms
 going to the
education
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
; the second
one
Use synonyms
 is the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
graduates
Use synonyms
 going to the politics and government
sector
Use synonyms
; the third
one
Use synonyms
 is the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
graduates
Use synonyms
 going to the manufacturing industry
sector
Use synonyms
; and the
last
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
 is the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
graduates
Use synonyms
 going to the
service
Use synonyms
 industries
sector
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the biggest and most popular employment
sector
Use synonyms
 at Brighton
University
Use synonyms
 in 2019 was the
service
Use synonyms
industries
Fix the agreement mistake
industry
show examples
, taking up
one
Use synonyms
-third of the
pie
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
space
Use synonyms
.
Other
Correct article usage
The other
show examples
 2
sectors
Use synonyms
, both being close to 15%, are
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 and manufacturing industry, taking a total of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
30%
pie
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
space
Use synonyms
. The least popular of the 4 biggest
sectors
Use synonyms
 in
university
Use synonyms
 is politics and government, which is close to
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 previously mentioned
sectors
Use synonyms
, coming close to 12%. The 6 smaller pieces of
pie
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
 take up about 1/4 of the
pie
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
space
Use synonyms
. The biggest
one
Use synonyms
 of them is transportation and warehousing, which is two times lower than the
education
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest is the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
, taking up 1 / 1000 of the
pie
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
space
Use synonyms
! There are
also
Linking Words
 science & technology, civil
service
Use synonyms
 and charity
sectors
Use synonyms
, which combined take up
one
Use synonyms
-eighth of the
pie
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
space
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the data highlights the
service
Use synonyms
 industries as the most prominent employment
sector
Use synonyms
 for Brighton
University
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 in 2019, with
education
Use synonyms
 and manufacturing following closely. The remaining
sectors
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 smaller in proportion, demonstrate the diverse range of career paths pursued by the
graduates
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words pie, chart, graduates, university, sectors, one, percentage, education, sector, service, space with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 8 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • sector
  • employment
  • graduate
  • university
  • compare
  • contrast
  • notable
  • trend
  • pattern
  • significant
  • specialist industry
  • general sector
  • historical data
  • implied
  • percent
  • percentage
  • sizeable
  • demonstrate
  • highlight
What to do next:
Look at other essays: